Get your sleep on

| posted on December 14, 2017

I DON’T know about you, but I think the last time I had a decent night’s sleep was back when my room was a womb.

Not even joking here; I think I have adapted a permanent state of tired and eep, it ain’t a good look.

Red and baggy eyes, staggered walking, slurred speech…

Actually, that sounds like a zombie.

Oh, great.

I’ve become a zombie.

Watch out world, Ash is on the prowl for your brains, ‘cause hers ain’t working.

To be honest, if I went to bed earlier it might help, but TV shows and Facebook and ah, there’s always some excuse.

According to my mum, I was nocturnal as a kid.

Of course, this was highly inconvenient to everyone, as they got no sleep when they were meant to, and couldn’t sleep when I was asleep because of life stuff, so even back in the day, my sleeping was silly.

Even now, as I sit here trying to focus on my computer screen while my eyes partially glaze over, I am daydreaming about going to bed.

I pretty much work a 9 to 5 job, so there’s no point complaining about that because everyone else does too.

I am eternally tired, and despite trying all the tricks – a lot of caffeine, only a little bit of caffeine, drinking lots of water, the odd set of star-jumps – I can never shake the feeling of being tired.

The worst part of it is driving.

Whenever I visit one of my friends, it’s a 40km round-trip from mine to theirs and back.

Even though my grumbling about the ridiculous cost of fuel keeps my brain semi-active, my eyes start to droop and it’s a staring contest with the road to keep alert.

(I highly discourage you to drive tired.)

In the words of my two teenage siblings, I am a ‘pathetic adult who should be out at the nightclub but can’t even stay up past 9.30pm’.

So, to avoid you becoming ‘lame’ and tired like me, here are a few tips I am trying this week.

You never know, your ‘new year new me’ could include a rested you!

#1: Put your anxiety to sleep.

I still suffer from the odd spat of anxiety, particularly when I am overtired.

I get highly irritable, very tense, and very on edge.

If you sense you are getting like this, take a second to sit away from everyone, perhaps on your bed, and just focus for a sec.

Just remember that you are only tired, and you need to take a deep breath.

#2: Use night mode on your phone.

This is on most new phones and it automatically dims your screen at a particular time, and also reduces contrasting colours.

I’m not going to say don’t use your phone before bed, because you’re going to ignore me on that, so at least dim it down and turn the volume down so everything isn’t super intense on your phone before sleep time.

#3: Don’t go to bed angry.

A common tip of advice for relationships, but it works for all people – trying to rest with unresolved anger is a hopeless cause.

Whether your mum flushed your semi-dead fish down the toilet, your partner came home for dinner at 7.10pm instead of the ‘guaranteed’ 7pm, or you just had a crappy day, take the time to either write your anger down on a piece of paper, try and mediate with the person of anger interest, or just chat to someone to relieve that anger pressure.

Oh, and make sure you screw that piece of paper up and chuck it majestically in the bin, full Kobe-spec.